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I remember the day that it happened. The day I declared myself a Republican. Specifically, a Reagan Republican.

It was January 19th, 1981. The day Iran agreed to release the remaining American hostages held there for 444 days. I remember where I was sitting in my third grade class at the back of the room, desk closest to the door. Filled with pride. I didn’t understand all of the geopolitics involved as I was only 10, but I was proud that the regime in Iran had backed down and agreed to return those 52 Americans that they had held captive for over a year.

From that day forward, I became energized by many of the ideals presented by the GOP. Individual freedom and liberty. Adherence to the US Constitution. The Rule of Law. I also believed that the Republicans of the 80’s and 90’s were decidedly the “big tent” Republicans; willing and encouraging diversity of thoughts and ideas.

I was a dyed in the wool, full blown Republican. I was anti-union, pro-death penalty, anti-abortion, limited government proponent, and decidedly pro-second amendment. I defended our capitalistic system against the French foreign exchange student we had in high school and many others over the years.

I chose to serve our country in the US Navy for (just a little) over 20 years. I got offended when the Democrats and the media demonized George W Bush for not being smart. I was upset when President Obama was elected.

But, I was also beginning to wake up.

While I would never have disparaged W for his intellect; I believe the man is much smarter than he was given credit for. I did see the danger of the president wearing his religion on his sleeve with the emboldening of the religious right. As someone who deeply cares about individual freedom and liberty, I started to see a shift in the party away from these personal tenets.

I began to question some of my previous positions. I researched and gained an education in our unions; what they had fought for, how were they opposed, what were the outcomes for normal, everyday Americans. I decided that they are a net utilitarian positive for us. I am no longer anti-union.

It is unfortunately very easy to see impact of allowing the assault rifle ban that was allowed to expire during President Bush’s term. As the father of two girls, it disgusts me that too many people (mostly young men) have access to weapons that are killing and destroying our nation’s children. I’m still pro-second amendment, but unless and until we figure out how to limit the senseless deaths of the innocent, I may find myself challenging this belief.

I was a big fan of the Showtime show Penn & Teller’s Bullshit!. After watching an episode of the show that discussed capital punishment, I really began to rethink my position on the death penalty. It would not be for a while that I would come to find out that Penn considers himself a libertarian nor that I would fully commit to the anti-death penalty position, but I am solidly in the mind that our government should not be imposing the death penalty. Government sanctioned killing of a human being is wrong, especially knowing how incompetent our legal system is. The risk of the government ending the life of an innocent person is just too great to justify when the government does get it correct.

Then, during the run up to and election of President Obama, came the Tea Party who dog whistled the racists who became engaged, energized, and found a home in the Republican party. Having served with so many incredible people of diverse backgrounds while on active duty, I could not countenance this move toward the overt racism, and reflecting on the decades of covert racism I had been blind to earlier in my life, I began to see in the GOP. This was the final straw.

I officially changed my party affiliation to Libertarian a decade and a half ago, but as the LP finds it difficult to gain ballot access or field candidates across the board, I have no choice but to find myself aligning with the Democrat party. While I disagree with the “how” of resolving many of the challenges our country faces, I feel that the underlying motivations align more closely with my own. Individual freedom and liberty are at stake.

This is how I find myself as The Recovering Republican.